Why Taki Doesn't Have Any Facial Expressions
by thejade
Summary: The title explains it all, with an added bonus...Voldo is in this fanfic as well!


**A/N: Another installment from the Soul Calibur Humor Fanfic Series! Yay! So soon, too! Thank you for all of your support! I appreciate reviews too!**

**Summary: The title speaks for itself, with an added bonus...Voldo is included in this fanfic.**

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**"Why Taki Doesn't Have Any Facial Expressions"**

_Let's see…_ Taki surveyed the territory around her. Trees, trees…and more trees. Taki's head dropped.

_Dammit…Useless trees…Can't even talk…_

Taki sighed as she lifted her head to the sky.

_It doesn't matter. Just as long as it's dry—_

A rain drop landed squarely in her opened eye.

_I spoke too soon._

She wanted to ignore the raindrop as many more fell suddenly, but the stinging sensation made her blink furiously.

_Dammit!_

Taki jumped down from the thick branch supporting her to a lower supporting branch.

Of course, Taki forgot about the rain.

_Huh!_

Taki felt herself falling, and falling fast.

_Gah!_

She frowned in mid-fall. Yup, she was falling.

Taki—still blinking profusely—reached her hands out in hopes of grasping a branch.

_Aw, shi—_

Her hands—_thanks a lot_—destroyed her hopes as she continued to fall.

And Taki couldn't help her outburst of wanting life. "I'm too young to die!"

"29 isn't young."

_How did he know my _real_ age?_

Taki peeked open her non-blinking eye.

Another hand—more like a claw—gripped her wrist. Taki looked up at her rescuer.

"Voldo!" The bendy form of what used to be a man looked—well, more like turned—towards her. The muzzle over his mouth seemed to wiggle up into a crinkled smile.

_Grr…this guy… _Taki tried to wriggle herself free of Voldo's claws. When she realized that his grip was stronger than her immense will, her other eye—the unblinking eye—started to blink due to her frustrations.

"Release me now, Voldo."

To her dismay, the beyond-humanly flexible creature did release her—by throwing her.

Taki blinked like it would save her from the oncoming tree she knew she would fly into.

Voldo, as the insane creature of a man, caught her in his arms and started to slide them down the length of the tree. Before they reached the floor of the forest, Taki jabbed her elbow into Voldo's abdomen, causing the creature to release her.

Taki pressed her feet into Voldo, earning a grunt, as she managed to propel her body from their—rather icky—closeness. Taki landed gracefully on the ground, while Voldo landed on the ground face-first.

Immediately, Voldo was on his feet, approaching her.

Taki backed away, her eyes blinking furiously.

"I don't want to be your apprentice! I didn't even want to hear you talk!"

Voldo grunted.

_Was that a laugh? How creepy…_

"Do you think I want to hear _you_ talk?" His voice was tinged with what seemed like a smile. "Talking for a woman ruins their beauty."

Taki's eyebrow lifted arrogantly. "So you think you're a woman now? You haven't talked to anyone in decades, girly man-impression!"

"How mean. Be silent, or you won't be my candidate for successor anymore!"

Taki scoffed. "I never wanted to be your successor! Damn, you've already sullied my quiet reputation!"

Voldo back-bended into a wheel as he spoke nonchalantly. "I sullied nothing. Only I and the trees—oh, and maybe the birds—would know how exceptionally arrogant and mean you are."

Already, Taki's blinking eyes were matched with her twitching eyebrow. Her patience was waning. Ironically, she had dealt with countless hunting parties, creeping and crawling like a snake, for days, even weeks, and yet, she could hardly stand just being in Voldo's presence for a moment.

His presence always included a perverted, bendy pose. Right now, the pose he was suspended in made her blush.

"Can't you wear real clothes, not the clothes the gypsies sell you?"

Voldo looked towards her from between his legs, his lower half of his nakedly clad body bent above his head.

"Same to you," he interjected amusingly.

"Hey, this is a custom-made ninja suit. I have an excuse."

"Keep believing that."

Now both of Taki's eyebrows were twitching. She looked like bad clockwork. With both of her eyebrows twitching, her eyes blinking like mad, Taki felt her facial muscles become tired. Despite her facial fatigue, she felt it become numb.

_My face hurts..._

"If you keep blinking and twitchinglike that, your face will become paralyzed."

_If that happened, Voldo would have to die._

Taki blinked some more.

"No, they won't."

Voldo unfolded himself, similar to a piece of folded paper. Taki shivered from the creepy unraveling.

"You're perverted, you know that!" Taki blurted out before she realized her mistake.

Voldo froze in his tracks.

_I couldn't even hold it in!_

Taki did what any normal person would do—well, any normal person who had almost super-human strength and ability.

She ran.

She ran until her lungs hurt and her twitching eyebrows and blinking eyes finally returned to their normal state. Taki heaved out a sigh when she reached a supposed safe place.

_That freak! He should take a hint by now!_

Voldo's claws clamped down on her shoulder.

Taki's eyes began to blink furiously as her eyebrows twitched nonstop.

Taki sighed.

She didn't want to be his successor, but then again, she'd rather not hear him talk. Maybe if she stopped talking, he would go away.

Taki looked up at him.

"Ok, Voldo, let's make a stupid deal."

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! I usually just write on a tangent, so bear with me! Anywho, if you liked this fanfic, check out the other fanfics in the Soul Calibur Humor Fanfic Series: "Raphael's Apprentice" (well loved), "Flies on Ivy," "Sandwiches forKilik" (1st well loved), "Mitsurugi's New Rule" (recently updated), "Hwang's Laundry" and "Gypsy Mirrors." They're all under thejade9. Thank you! Please review!**


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